In such bad economic times, sales are really getting harder and harder. Clients are expecting more and lower prices and there is no support from my own team which is practically decreasing in size. CPF cuts seem never being able to be reinstated and the boss is breathing down my neck despite me working my ass off. Colleagues are receiving threats to be sacked and are contemplating to resign.

I do not know I was depressed until someone close to me told me that I do not seem happy in my smses recently.

People might be surprised that I am feeling this way because I behaved normally in front of people, maintaining a facade , acting smiley and talking like all is fine ; even consoling or encouraging people. I am totally fine but deep down this is how I feel...

Read on...

Signs of depression

Sign 1 : Feeling hopeless and useless
All these lack of sales seems to push me towards thinking that I am useless and worthless, making me feel like I am a liability to the world and edged me to think that at an age where my counterparts are doing better yet I am still not even stable in my career thus far. No one believes in me...no one. Seeing so many events in the country but yet I have no hand in it.... i am really useless

Sign 2 : Thoughts that life is not worth living, or have a plan for how you would end it.
Enough said. I thought of just ending it all....like a running thought

Sign 3 : Can't sleep enough
For the past few nights, I could not stop thinking about work and when the pressure sets in, I can't sleep till the wee hours.

Sign 4 :can't control your negative thoughts, no matter how much you try
I was thinking about my work at nights and start tearing for no apparent reasons. I used to be confident and smiley and now, where are they ?

Sign 5 : you are constantly irritated or become enraged even at small things – and this is new for you 
This is not new but I think my colleagues and some closer to me knows that my fuse is getting shorter and shorter.

Ok....congrats , I am just a situational depressed case (I hope).

I am writing this . not to ask for sympathy or make you guys worried or concerned. In fact if you do, that will make me feel worse, making me feel useless that I cannot even make people around me happy.

Thanks....