Welcome to Aaronspace, space of ramblings , ravings and rantings

Monday, July 25, 2011

you....

why is that a song that you shared causes me to lose sleep ?
why is that a picture that you posted causes me to smile
why is that all that you do still matters to me?

I wished I had not messed things up and lose your love and trust.
I wished things are like what they are before; in our own world without a care
I wished that we are still building a future together
I wished that we are still reminiscing our past together
I wished that we could still go back to the past

as for now....
you are irreplaceable.
you are still important
you has a special place in my heart

I messed things up but no matter what, deep down, I really want you to be happy.
No matter if I am seeing someone else or you are dating another person, that feeling that we shared which lasted for 3 years will never change...

I love you...

Posted at 11:54 am by Blazy
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Sunday, February 13, 2011

Public Apology

Darl Darl,

First and foremost, it’s our 3^rd anniversary and it may seem no longer significant but to me, it still is and will always be. As such, thank you, and thank you for a great and awesome 3 years of relationship.

Words and tears cannot express how sorry and remorseful I am and I blamed myself for landing myself in such a predicament especially when you trusted me so much.

It hurts me a lot when I saw you cry and suffer because of how my misbehavior. I am really angry with myself and I really cannot imagine how you felt when you discovered my infidelity. I am sorry.

I want to tell you that despite of this, I still love you a lot, if not I wouldn’t have bothered to follow you, crying for your forgiveness ; I would have just moved on or taken a cab and went off. I do not want this relationship to end because I really care and love you with all of my heart. I really want you to be happy again with me as your dear dear and as a part of your life and build a future with you.

What I did was wrong and I know I do not have any rights to ask anything from you when I have stupidly betrayed and shattered your heart. But please, I beg you to find it in your heart to forgive and give me another opportunity to prove how much I love and need you in my life. Give me a chance to make our future a happier one with less tears and more joy.

Lastly, I want to say I have faith in my love that we will overcome this situation and make our relationship an even better one. Don’t walk away from me and please give me another chance. I want to be able to look back with you at this and be glad that we didn’t walk away from our relationship. 坏人迟早也会因爱而变成好人的。Won’t you be that catalyst of love?

I know this decision of where we proceed is not mine to make and I know you are hurt and find it impossible to trust me
I kept thinking of what I can do to make you trust me and to prove how sincere and sorry I really am.

As such, I thought of a few things and I hope you can accept it as a token of my sincerity.

1) Daily update of what I will be doing

2) Taking pictures and send to you of where I am and what I am doing whenever you request

3) Asking you to check my phone every time we meet

4) I will call you periodically to report to you.

5) Let you go through my credit card bills

6) Letting you be in control of my finances

From that stupid jerk who hurt you,

Aaron Ann

Posted at 10:03 pm by Blazy
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Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Monkeys and peanuts

The Monkey, The Coconut and The Peanuts

April 9, 2010

How do you catch a Monkey?

1.) Carve a small hole in a Coconut, just large enough for a Monkey to put its hand in.
2.) Fix the Coconut to a tree, and fill that hole with Peanuts.
3.) Said Monkey can insert hand into Coconut to grab at Peanuts.
4.) Fistful of Peanuts is too large for hand to come out of Coconut.
5.) Monkey refuses to let go of Peanuts and hence is trapped.

When you give Peanuts, you get Monkeys.

Those that let go of the Peanuts may not be Monkeys after all.

So if you want to catch more than Monkeys, STOP giving peanuts !

This little Fable has so many things we can learn from...

Posted at 01:51 pm by Blazy
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Tuesday, March 16, 2010

100 things that I love about you...

1. I love that you love me.

2. I love knowing that I can be absolutely silly with you.

3. I love how we met and fell in love.

4. I love the desserts you buy me.

5. I love the way you smell.

6. I love that you throw away your cigarette even though you have not finished it, because you know I am waiting.

7. I love laughing with you about your lame jokes.

8. I love that you are tech-savvy

9. I love how you always reach for my lap when I drive.

10. I love how puppy your eyes are.

11. I love how we always happen to think about the same thing at the same time.

12. I love that you always make sure you walk on the outer side of the road.

13. I love the fact that you have a nice body.

14. I love that you are really understanding and patient

15. I love it when you shower me with hugs and kisses

16. I love it when you like my cooking.

17. I love your manners.

18. I love that you remember our monthly anniversary.

19. I love how you always introduce me to new food.

20. I love that you constantly teach me new words in your language.

21. I love that you introduced me to your baby niece who looks just as cute as you.

22. I love that you actually sat outside a club to wait for me because you didn't like it in there but didn't want to leave me by myself.

23. I love the way you looked at me when you asked if I would still love you even if your face were covered in acne.

24. I love kissing you.

25. I love cuddling with you.

26. I love enjoying sentimental music with you.

27. I love how cute you look when you are deep in sleep.

28. I love to hear you say I-love-you's.

29. I love to tell you that I love you.

30. I love how you always support my decisions and choices in life.

31. I love how you have such patience with me.

32. I love knowing that I can talk to you about anything and everything.

33. I love you calling me all kinds of weird nicknames like "....".

34. I love that you love me calling you sweet/weird nicknames.

35. I love the little child in you who loves cartoons.

36. I love the person in you who wants to look after me too.

37. I love that you call/text me everyday when we are apart.

38. I love how we can just stay home and do nothing.

39. I love that you are always so understanding.

40. I love that you never seem to get mad with me.

41. I love falling asleep next to you.

42. I love waking up next to you.

43. I love how we wrestle to tickle each other.

44. I love that you don't talk too much.

45. I love how comfortable we are around each other.

46. I love how you think I am perfect in your eyes.

47. I love how you try to save everything I have ever written to you.

48. I love our similarities.

49. I love our differences.

50. I love watching movies with you.

51. I love how smart you are.

52. I love knowing that you love me for being smart.

53. I love how we shower together like we've been doing it forever.

54. I love that you always want to pay for me.

55. I love how shy you become when I keep staring at you.

56. I love the way you smile.

57. I love that you are good to your parents.

58. I love that you always leave your ear-studs around my bathroom table.

59. I love knowing that you will always be there for me.

60. I love how we both like to eat exotic street food.

61. I love your compliments.

62. I love going shopping with you.

63. I love how much you trusted me.

64. I love it when you insist on getting me breakfast when I am sick.

65. I love how you listen to everything I have to say.

66. I love your hair.

67. I love it that you always let me wear your clothes.

68. I love surprising you.

69. I love how you tolerate my double standards.

70. I love that you always massage me even when you're tired.

71. I love how you love my friends.

72. I love that you can sing well.

73. I love taking slow walks home with you after dinner, whilst eating ice-cream.

74. I love that you always let me hang up first before you put down the phone.

75. I love the way you dress.

76. I love the way you dance.

77. I love how you get jealous at clubs when others try to flirt with me.

78. I love how we can discuss about things in life.

79. I love that your family accepts me too.

80. I love that I now like anything associated with monkeys simply because they remind me of you.

81. I love how surprised and happy you were when I planned the birthday party for you.

82. I love your stinky breath in the morning.

83. I love our weekend getaway at the beach resort.

84. I love it when you ask me if I missed you and I would always reply 'Yes'.

85. I love how you tease me and call an old man.

86. I love how cute you sound when you try to speak Mandarin.

87. I love it when you feed me.

88. I love how much you appreciate me.

89. I love that you are careful and I'm careless.

90. I love how I fit perfectly into the 'slot' on you when we hug.

91. I love how we sometimes share each other's secrets.

92. I love your honesty.

93. I love how it makes me smile whenever I think of you.

94. I love it when you insist on carrying things for me.

95. I love that you let me put my hand over your shoulder.

96. I love how you leave most decisions to me.

97. I love that you acknowledge the importance of open communication in a relationship.

98. I love it when you promised me that you will always take my side no matter what happens.

99. I love it when people say we are a perfect couple.

100. I love that I can still cry when I read these hundred things I love about you.

Posted at 01:12 am by Blazy
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Sunday, December 20, 2009

Frens

For the longest of time, I been wanting to blog about it but I held back several times but tonight I feel that I am finally ready to talk and confront it....

I had a group of wonderful friends whom I shared my ups and downs, whom tolerated me, laughed with and at me but because of some commitments, I cut back some time with them but I had tried my best to make it up to them, rushing to and fro, taking cab etc , sacrificing my time, rest and my other frens etc but alas , I saw them going out with me and with a cruel twist of fate, in the same theater watching the same movie.

I was really crushed and disappointed but what else can I do, I did not want to confront them and I ended up hiding in the toilet till the show opening time.
I knew they saw me when I went in to the theater but I pretended to look away.

Anyway, in short, they have ceased to ask me out ever since tat day, making no apologies or rectification. They even want to send me my bday gift instead of asking me out. Amazing isn't it ?!
Irony is, one of them said to me before, if you ever walked out of the group, I will be very upset with you but what if they kicked me out of the group?
Anyway, I usually spend Xmas and NYE with them but this year, it is going to be different and I wonder how it will be like without them.

In all honesty, I miss them despite it all...friends are forever cause of the memories we shared

Posted at 11:08 pm by Blazy
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Friday, October 02, 2009

woah..women career advancement...and men ??

NS should not be made compulsory for women for the sake of career advancement, PM Lee said.

More and more lady bosses and more and more men are late bloomers thanks to NS.
Reservist is such a waste of time, energy and resources.

Imagine we going up to our bosses, explaining why we cannot take up this big project because we cannot keep deferring our annual call-up and he says ok and pass this big project to your lady colleague and she will ask u for advice and u guide her along and when the big project is a success, who gets the credits , HER ! and u ? a big thank you.
she gets her promo and u are stuck in ya job wondering why we are not being promoted !

well..that is what our PM wants. Women needs the career advancement and men do not !

Posted at 11:02 am by Blazy
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Friday, September 04, 2009

03 Sept 2009

History is in the making. LOLX

I passed driving on 03/09/09 I and its at my first attempt !! Okay, maybe its about time that i should drive but still I was really elated. *jumps for joy*

Can you imagine sitting in the waiting area for 10minutes while time crept by and I was there waiting in high anticipation and excitement.
The unfriendly tester called my name and we walked to the car. He is a big mumbler and I keep saying "HUH" to him, guess he was pretty irritated. lolx .

Anyway, I passed with 8 demerit points (18points to fail). lolx. So happy and grateful to my wonderful instructors at SSDC. :):)

Picked up my temporary license and I am finally a qualified driver with a SHINY "P" Plate !! lolx

My family will be my first passengers tonight !!!

Posted at 05:04 pm by Blazy
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Monday, June 15, 2009

From me to you

窗外开始下起毛毛雨
云遮住了星星
夜深了还没有睡意
翻来覆去地想你
时钟嘀嗒嘀嗒的声音
像在说我爱你
转过两点三点到六点
恨不得快点见到你
幸福的距离
就算万公里
在你眼里有我想要的勇气
从南极飞到北极
南京到北京
你的笑胜过那些美景
我们勾勾手就一言为定
我会傻傻地好好地爱你
你的名加我的姓
永远在一起
拥抱多过千言万语

Posted at 01:27 am by Blazy
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Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Plans for my funeral

I am not suicidal or anything but in fact, I am rather happy and relieved these few days.

I do not know how many of you out there went to a funeral and would think about how you would behave if its someone close to you lying there , well at least I know I would, i even think of who will be at the funeral... especially at mine.

I have plans for my funeral. I want a orange and brown theme as it was my favorite colours.

I want a dark coloured coffin and i want light make up on my face as I lay there. I do not want people to see how thick my make-up would be like(unglam la!!!).

as a christian, I want my funeral to be filled with laughter and as people celebrate my life with me. I hope someone close to me will give me a good euology.

I even thought of a sample one :

Some of you here,lost a son, a brother and a colleague but I am pretty sure that everyone here lost a friend, a friend who is always there for you, a friend who makes you smile. As we gather today, let's not cry for him cause I am sure Aaron wants to you to be happy as he is right now with the Lord, let's celebrate his life for him. Shall we give 3 cheers for him?
Hip Hip Hurray (3x)

Cliche? ya , it seems. but oh well, its my funeral. hehe.

MORBID ? abit la...but its ok, i just want plans to be made.

Last but not least, I want my ashes to be scattered in any form that is possible. I want to go back to the nature.

Thanks!

Posted at 02:08 pm by Blazy
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Sunday, May 10, 2009

Signs showing that I am inclined to depression

In such bad economic times, sales are really getting harder and harder. Clients are expecting more and lower prices and there is no support from my own team which is practically decreasing in size. CPF cuts seem never being able to be reinstated and the boss is breathing down my neck despite me working my ass off. Colleagues are receiving threats to be sacked and are contemplating to resign.

I do not know I was depressed until someone close to me told me that I do not seem happy in my smses recently.

People might be surprised that I am feeling this way because I behaved normally in front of people, maintaining a facade , acting smiley and talking like all is fine ; even consoling or encouraging people. I am totally fine but deep down this is how I feel...

Read on...

Signs of depression

Sign 1 : Feeling hopeless and useless
All these lack of sales seems to push me towards thinking that I am useless and worthless, making me feel like I am a liability to the world and edged me to think that at an age where my counterparts are doing better yet I am still not even stable in my career thus far. No one believes in me...no one. Seeing so many events in the country but yet I have no hand in it.... i am really useless

Sign 2 : Thoughts that life is not worth living, or have a plan for how you would end it.
Enough said. I thought of just ending it all....like a running thought

Sign 3 : Can't sleep enough
For the past few nights, I could not stop thinking about work and when the pressure sets in, I can't sleep till the wee hours.

Sign 4 :can't control your negative thoughts, no matter how much you try
I was thinking about my work at nights and start tearing for no apparent reasons. I used to be confident and smiley and now, where are they ?

Sign 5 : you are constantly irritated or become enraged even at small things – and this is new for you
This is not new but I think my colleagues and some closer to me knows that my fuse is getting shorter and shorter.

Ok....congrats , I am just a situational depressed case (I hope).

I am writing this . not to ask for sympathy or make you guys worried or concerned. In fact if you do, that will make me feel worse, making me feel useless that I cannot even make people around me happy.

Thanks....

Posted at 01:24 am by Blazy
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